Now’s not the best time for me to talk about Danny Briere, but to be fair it hasn’t been the right time for me in, oh, about four years. You see, I was with you for that first year of “woe-is-us” after Danny packed up his stuff and left, even though I was far
more interested in keeping Chris Drury. Now, I’m just sick of it. He’s an annoying pest of a super-clutch hockey player who suits up for a team I like just slightly more than the Black Plague. I’m no Darcy Regier fan, but the only time I want to hear Darcy and Danny in the same Sabres sentence again is, “Who would win in a fight: Danny Gare or Darcy Wakaluk?”
Here’s a comparison that worked for a few Sabres fans on Twitter after Briere scored another of his game-winning playoff goals:
“Briere for me is like an ex-girlfriend you’re over but your friends won’t stop talking about.
“Remember how hot she was?”
“Yep. I dated her”
I know absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I’m continually amazed at how Briere’s absence from Buffalo has folded over into an obsession that would blow the minds of TV cops. It’s even more absurd than the acting on this season’s “Law & Order: SVU” (As an aside, is it possible Chris Meloni was entirely responsible for keeping the writers and actors in check with a series of “Are you effing kidding me?s” each season during the writing process? Could anyone at NBC have expected the show to become this ludicrous?)
I’m not debating that the Sabres would’ve been better off keeping him around past the 2006-07 flame-out, but let’s not pretend everyone loved him while he was here. Briere’s Buffalo death is turning him into some sort of halfway-decent rock musician who’s become a legend simply by not making more product.
This is a guy who co-captained the biggest disappointment in Buffalo Sabres history and picked up a whole three goals in his final playoff run with Buffalo. He’s a guy who was in an NHL-distributed video on the definition of diving. He’s put up regular season stat lines in Philadelphia that would’ve had him burnt in effigy should he have received that contract with Buffalo. In the year after Briere split town — still his choice, by the way — Derek Roy had more points than him. Briere’s best regular season point total is one point less than Jason Pominville had this season. He regularly took nights off in Buffalo, back-checked about as hard as Max Afinogenov and was Roy’s mentor.
Back to the ex-girlfriend thing (or boyfriend, if you like). You remember that Briere used to take you out to dinner, but forget that he constantly played with his iPhone. You wistfully recall the time he bought you flowers, but never mention how he would ignore you for hours if he didn’t get his way. You picture what your kids would’ve looked like, but forget that he never proposed.
When was the last time you high-fived yourself because Chris Drury isn’t on a massive contract with the Sabres? Do you often think, “if only Chris stayed here and produced very little?” No, because he’s gone.
Yes, he’s super good. He’s might become a Hall of Famer. But he’s a Flyer. And I’m over it.