(WECK 1230) — A few weeks back with the Bills mired in an eight-game losing streak, I made the casual remark that I wasn’t planning on Buffalo holding the No. 1 pick in the NFL Draft. I believed at the time that the Carolina Panthers would choose first.
I might be wrong. It could be the Detroit Lions.
The Bills have a much easier path to wins than many other teams, so unless you are one of the yahoos who think these professional athletes should lose on purpose in some sort of dangerous half-WWE match, look for the Bills to be selecting around No. 5.
We ranked the teams via draft order with the following categories, mostly self-explanatory. In terms of the quit scale, it’s from 1-10 with 1 being least unlikely to quit and 10 being already did.
Carolina Panthers
Current record: 1-9
Remaining opponents record: 34-26
Games against Bottom 10: Two (Arizona, Cleveland)
Quit scale: 10
Spin: Like a garbage casserole covered in awful sauce with a side of lead paint soup. They may have to sign Jeff George soon. The amazing thing is they should probably let John Fox stick aroun, Lindy Ruff-style. Odds: 42%
Detroit Lions //
Current record: 2-8
Remaining opponents record: 37-23
Games against Bottom 10: One (vs. Minnesota, Week 17)
Quit scale: 5
Spin: It’s all about the quit factor here, plus the fact that Jim Schwartz seems like a genuinely awful game coach. I know Matthew Stafford makes this team much, much better, but they don’t have him right now. A solid contender to be a sexy playoff team come August 2011. Odds: 15%
Cincinnati Bengals //
Current record: 2-8
Remaining opponents record: 36-23
Games against Bottom 10: One (Cleveland)
Quit scale: 8
Spin: The race between Detroit and Cincy for the No. 2 pick will come down to the fact that Carson Palmer is at least a little better than Shaun Hill. Odds: 10%
Buffalo Bills //
Current record: 2-8
Remaining opponents record: 34-26
Games against Bottom 10: Two (Minnesota, Cleveland)
Quit scale: 1
Spin: Not happening. Bills fans should start hoping for a Top Five pick, because this looks like a four-win team. Odds: 8%
Cleveland Browns //
Current record: 3-7
Remaining opponents record: 24-36
Games against Bottom 10: Three (Carolina, Buffalo, Cincinnati)
Quit scale: 1
Spin: I don’t sense a quit factor in this team. They are gunning for 9-7 and while they won’t get it, their fans aren’t stressing about Andrew Luck either. It’s a shame the Bills didn’t have three looks at Colt McCoy. Wait, what? Odds: 8%
Minnesota Vikings //
Current record: 3-7
Remaining opponents record: 29-31
Games against Bottom 10: Two (Buffalo, Detroit)
Quit scale: 8
Spin: Their defense’s talent should be enough to keep them out of the No. 1 overall slot, but don’t count out the “quit” factor after all the Brett Favre/Randy Moss/Brad Childress nonsense. Odds: 7%
Arizona Cardinals //
Current record: 3-7
Remaining opponents record: 17-35
Games against Bottom 10: Five (Carolina, Denver, San Fran(2), Dallas)
Quit scale: 6
Spin: Ken Whisenhunt doesn’t have a quarterback, but he doesn’t face too many the rest of the way. Arizona has a look at catching Seattle for the division, so don’t expect them to lose all that much. Odds: 4%
Dallas Cowboys //
Current record: 3-7
Remaining opponents record: 35-22
Games against Bottom 10: One (Arizona)
Quit scale: 6
Spin: Too talented to fail consistently, plus Tony Romo may return with something to prove to Jason Garrett and any potential suitors. Tough schedule increases odds to 3%.
San Francisco 49ers //
Current record: 3-7
Remaining opponents record: 26-31
Games against Bottom 10: Two (Arizona twice)
Quit scale: 2
Spin: There’s a reason they were a sexy pick to make the playoffs this year. Their weak division and schedule make it near impossible to imagine them losing out. Odds: 2%
New song lyric idea: "Gone from the Broncs, and you're to blame. You were cut by a bad team!"
Denver Broncos //
Current record: 3-6* (plays Monday night at San Diego)
Remaining opponents record: 28-40
Games against Bottom 10: One (Arizona)
Quit scale: 3
Spin: I’ve been joking that Denver is the worst team in the NFL for a while. They aren’t quite that bad, and their schedule features enough middling teams to get them to 5-11, especially with the delusions of division titles still dancing through their heads. Odds of No. 1 overall pick: 1%
Email: nickonweck@gmail.com
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Losing intentionally does not include danger imminence. Look at last week. You keep a coach that lost his team of criminals long ago, and you do stuff like hiring your starting QB’s crappy little brother and play him.
That being said, I think it’s rare that NFL players “quit”. Every snap is an audition to keep your very high-paying job.
Why do you WECK guys speak of Colt McCoy like he’s been awesome? He’s just not making horrible mistakes, and has played 1000x better than he looked in preseason. I would not feel great having him as a my future “Franchise QB”.
The odds are high that the Panthers and Bengals do not win another game this year. Their schedules are filled with playoff potential teams. The Bills are screwed. I hope you enjoy continued mediocrity, Nicholas. I like to win.
They will win, especially if Buddy Nix isn’t a total mess like he was for a good portion of the draft and Cornell Green.
I know he has about next to nothing to work with in Carolina right now, but I’m not sold on John Fox. It did take him until about this time last year to pull the plug on Jake Delhomme. And I cannot believe that he does not have some input into the makeup of his roster (i.e. draft picks, FA acquisitions, etc.).
FWIW…on the ESPN ticker right now, as they show the yardage leaders from yesterday, Stevie J.’s name is abbreviated as “St. Johnson”.