There are a lot of insults going around pertaining to the job you’re doing as head coach of the Buffalo Bills and not all of them are valid. For one thing, you’re not too old for this. You’re 60: the same age as Bill Belichick, one year younger than Pete Carroll and a couple hundred years younger than Tom Coughlin. So saying the game has passed you by simply by virtue of your age is a real jerk move.
All the other reasons, though? Right on.
You use one of the most electric backs in the world as if he had the lung capacity of a 100-year old chain smoker. (CJ Spiller is his name just in case you’re thinking I’m talking about Tashard Choice). You prefer to hand the ball to Fred Jackson, an adequate rusher and extremely likable story who is tied for the NFL season lead in fumbles amongst running backs and averaging the 28th best yards-per-carry in the league (The Spiller character is 2nd in ypc, by the way). Watching your two minute drills quite literally feels like being drilled with a large bit for more than two minutes. Your clock awareness is nearly non-existent. You treat field goals as if no one’s ever been successful from further than 49 yards (even though your kicker hit from 50 in worse weather just last week). You treat two-point conversions as if they’re slap bracelets: a fad destined to become a laugh riot in a decade.
What in the world is going on in your head? You’re a grown man giving out carries based on whose turn it is? Is it not in you to walk up to Fred Jackson and say, “Hey man, thanks for everything but I’m sure you’ve noticed the human highlight reel sharing carries with you?” The thing is, I don’t think it is in you. Even after he got hurt, you turned to third-string back Tashard Choice as if it “I SAID it wasn’t your turn, CJ.”
Time and time again you’ve told us how Ryan Fitzpatrick — who hasn’t been bad, mind you — is your quarterback of the near future because you’ve seen him do it before. And you’re consistent! Tashard Choice was an electric back for you at Georgia Tech, a time in his life you apparently think he’s going to rediscover before the guy you drafted No. 9 overall is capable of getting a whole bunch of carries. Good call.
Forget that your QB was taking the beating of a lifetime and that the St. Louis Rams have a great pass rush and solid cover corners. Forget that they were starting Mario Haggan at linebacker and that they may have actual seat cushions backing him up. You’ve got your ways and you aren’t budging.
Neither is your win total.
Stat line I liked…
Scott Chandler, five catches for 71 yards
– The big man continues to perform and this time didn’t even show garbage pan lid hands once.
Stat line I didn’t like…
St. Louis Rams, five sacks
– It’s explainable and understandable given the Bills first-game starters at center and right tackle, but I don’t have t like the stat line.
– The guy deserves it for not shoving his head coach in a garbage can. One week after hitting a 50-yard field goal in worse weather and a less important time, Gailey won’t turn to him. One of the most reliable players in Bills history cannot get a chance to ice an opponent? Good call, Chan.
– A hard rain should fall, but it won’t. Buddy “Nicks” Nix will have us singing, “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” straight into another training camp where fans mentally distance themselves from the game day incompetence of their head coach into the hopes of a 10-6 season (against a brutal 2013 slate of opponents).
– Oh, good. The game we don’t get because it was sold to Canada. I think this Bills team is beaten. Give Seattle the edge, 23-22, when Gailey kicks an extra point instead of going for two to tie it because there’s 11:01 left and his philosophy says, “Not until there’s less than 11 minutes to go!”