Immediate Reactions: Dolphins 24, Bills 10

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Look at this grown man's rear end while we talk about the Bills (AP)

Watching your preferred football team lose nearly every single week will put your brain in a vise to begin with, but some weeks just underline, circle and star how much the National Football League needs to cater the popularity that gambling and couches has given their sport.

Vague, barely-enforceable rules combined with approximately 200 commercial breaks and some really bad football to make the Bills and Dolphins only slightly more appealing that a 9 year-old’s booger collection.

“Ooh, this one looks like Franklin Pierce!”

— The non-touchdown for Stevie Johnson, to me, is absurd. I understand that it may be a somewhat-correct interpretation of a classically vague NFL rule, but give me one other time that you’ve seen a player on any team make a catch and use the ball to reach for the plane of the end zone, cross the plane while getting two feet in play and THEN have the ball hit the ground for a “no catch/touchdown.” It’s a silly rule. I just wish there could’ve been a couple commercials during the review so we could really get to the bottom of what Fedex is offering this holiday season.

— I still wouldn’t count on Ryan Tannehill being a stud. He looked like a stronger-armed Fitzpatrick. That’s not bad, of course, but it also isn’t anywhere near stud territory.

— I wouldn’t blame a fan-wide petition that says their season ticket renewals hinge on whether T. Chan Gailey is not the coach of the team in 2013.

— Since the world runs on funny money, I do think Fitzpatrick will make a great competitor for whomever shows up in camp, but I want no guarantees of his being starter and I want Tyler Thigpen out of town. If Andy Dalton can quarterback a playoff team, that Fitzpatrick may be a better option that a rookie. I want the rookie to compete and win, but I’ll be furious if the depth chart is: Rookie, Tarvaris Jackson, Winston C. Alsoran.

Although, let’s be honest. If ESPN’s James Walker is right and cutting Fitz can save the Bills almost $8 mil, he’s toast.

— Two sacks for Marcell Dareus makes me want to say it again: it drives me nuts when people retroactively want AJ Green at No. 3 overall. Almost no one was advising a horrible Bills defense get another wideout there and Dareus helped stabilize the inside of the Buffalo defensive line with Kyle Williams. I look forward to seeing this team with an improved linebacking corps and two corners getting an entire offseason to learn from their rookie year tape.

— Finally, a game. Which of these phrases comes from today’s football game and which comes from “Zero Dark Thirty,” the new film about the murder of Osama bin Laden? (Answers at bottom of post)

A) Invisible planes

B) Deep cover

C) Deadly silence

D) Torture

E) Action

F) Drama

G) Potentially offensive subject matter

H) Randy Cross

I) Football moves

J) Operation Neptune Spear

— More to come…

Stat line I liked…

CJ Spiller

– Who knew? Well, besides everyone who isn’t Chan Gailey?

Stat line I didn’t like…

Stevie Johnson, four receptions on nine targets, 44 yards, two drops, fumble, penalty

– I thought the penalty was stupid, but at least Johnson picked an inconsequential game to post his worst game of the season. I blame myself for taking his third 1,000 yard season for granted. Needs 65 next week.

Game ball(s)…


– He’s a freak. Honestly, I’d sit him for the Jets game except the Bills fans who paid to be there deserve to see something better than Tashard Choice and a cloud of rust.


– Good riddance.

Next week…

– The out-of-it Bills. The out-of-it Jets. TEN TRILLION SHOTS OF TEBOW DRINKING WATER. The NFL on CBS. Jets 18, Bills 16 — mercifully blacked-out in Buffalo yet available to anyone with a decent modem.


Answers from above
Football: A, B, D, G, H, I;
Zero Dark Thirty: B, C, D, E, F, G, J;
Both accepted: B, C, G

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